Monday, June 04, 2007

Assignment Zero: Putting the Baby To Bed

We're in the final push at Assignment Zero, getting ready for publication at Wired.com tomorrow....

I've been a bit tired and ill today from an unknown food allergy--but I've been doing what I can. And I know my feeling are up and down, a bit mixed about being part of something really important, and that important thing ending. At the moment, I'm holding my breath. Tomorrow's the final pub. I'm worried about an emotional drop-off. I'm worried about drifting away. I'm worried about feeling lost.....

Because it's been a lot of work. A lot of different moving parts from the very beginning--putting together a list of projects, to organizing a community, to shaping the project-in-process into something different than what it was originally drafted. There's been a lot of emotion in that. There can be no denying that aspect.

And I'm not that dis-passionate about anything that I do...

The thing is, this has been a trial-and-error process- learning just as much what may be workable in a particular length of time as how to harness the interest of "amateurs" (who turned out to be not as amateur as first thought...more on that in another post)

It's been a lot of thinking about the nature and consequences of what we're doing.... sometimes feeling like Den Mother....Sometimes being a real Brat (or, some might say, Bitch...sometimes hard to tell the difference...)

Getting people involved was perhaps the hardest part. Not necessarily because we didn't offer interesting topics--but mostly because of simple human nature. The Internet is still full of lurkers and people often like to volunteer for for "a good cause" while it's unclear what they can do. That's not a bad thing though. That's just the way we volunteer for stuff--and how we lurk online.

Assignment Zero has, at times, been terribly exhilarating and at other times horribly frustrating. Throw-a-computer-across-the-room frustrating and "wow! that's amazing!" exhilarating....

I think the project definitely shows who might pitch in, and how to construct, an open-source journalism project on a topic of cutting edge high geekery. Because that's pretty much what we did...

Perhaps this is a bit disjointed because I'm a swirl of emotions and thoughts and wondering what's next--for the project as much as for me. What are outsiders going to think of all our hard work? Will it bring any insight on the topic? What was my contribution? Was it appreciated?

Could it have been done without me?

Frankly, I'm pretty darned proud of all the work so many people have put into Assignment Zero. Many people who've put up with the ups and downs while we've figured it out as we went along. Many people who've put in overtime to get it to this stage....

I've always been one of those people who's thought the word would go on quite fine if she wasn't here....

Maybe, this time, it couldn't have.

Tomorrow's another big day....

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